Future plan

I realized I am always typing and ranting. Sometimes, I wonder if that's a good or bad thing? Because everytime I rant, it's always something emotional and comes together with abit of negative thoughts. But... if I don't rant, I will just feel that I am not expressing myself, I am not thinking, I am not using my brain. I want to reflect because I always feel that reflecting can helps a person improve, to a better person. Am I right to said that? 

Feeling really confuse right now, I'm super unsure of my choices. It's so hard to decide on what I want right nowz because how am I going to figure out what I really like/good at when I only live like 20 years of my life? Having so much thoughts in my mind now and every time I decide on the things that I wanna do in my future, something new pop out in my mind and I tend to look at things differently again. 

And so many people are telling me so many different things and each time they told me their own thoughts, I will definitely reflect and it just got even more confusing. I guess, I need to understand myself and come down with the goal I want in my life and then work towards it. I shouldn't get too influence by what people say. Everyone is different so the way people approaches things are different too. Some are ambitious, some are just idling their life away, some are just following the flow and keeps changing their mind (just like me).  

Which is why the reason I'm here because I just want to reflect and note down whatever's on my mind so to constantly remind myself that this is the path that I've plan. Honestly, whenever I look at myself, I don't see any good or unique things about myself except being blur which is something quite bad lol.. But I shall just take that as a blessing in disguise hehe :) Don't you feel that, whenever you look at someone, you can just somehow see a picture of what they're going to be in the future and what's something good about them. For me, I know it myself that I'm a very average girl adding on with some clumsiness and blurriness. Tell me someone who can win me in that, I haven't find another friend who is as blur as me yet so ya I'm currently still rank 1st -o- I always thought that I've a mind of my own but no, not really. I'm always influence by what people say easily and yeah I do reflect, but I change my mind easily. I'm always living life with the flow...

Well, ultimately I guess it all comes down to what I want in my life. What kind of life do I desire? Do I want to be successful? Of course, I want to be. But I just couldn't imagine myself to be successful in 10 years time. I think I'm just a simple-minded person who is always living in my own world. But I'm not as simple as what people thinks because I still know how to judge people and think critically at times HAHAHA so there's still a cunning side of me *wink. The life that I desired and suits me, is just a simple life. I just want to lead a simple life with a stable job that hmm maybe I wouldn't super like it but then I'm still ok with it. I want to have enough money for my mum and myself. If I'm able to get married, I'll still work yes because I don't want to lose connection to the society and I'll work hard to ensures my family doesn't suffers from money issues. And when I'm married, maybe I'll change my job to something more relaxing which is why, I'm planning to take up courses so next time, when I'm old, I'll still have the skills to maybe teach people haha (this is something I've been thinking for quite long) yes. At the end of the day, I just want to lead a simple life and be happy and not worry too much about money issues. 

So what I've decided to do now is, apply for local uni and then if I get in then yeah, I'll just study hard. Its not that I feel like studying but it's just that I feel that, I still stand a opportunity to get into local. And if I don't give it a try, I think I'll regret in the future and I don't hate studying at all so yeap. It's definitely a bonus for me if I get into one but for the courses that I choose, I'm just kind of unsure but my lecturer told me something and I really agree with it. Degree is just something that will builds up your thinking skills and problem-solving skills. You wouldn't really remember the stuffs that you studied. When you go out to work, people wouldn't really care about the degree you take because its really just a piece of paper. Whichever you sector you move on to, as long as you have good thinking skills and problem solving skills, you'll definitely excel in anywhere. Yup so this is something new that I learnt and feel that it is so agreeable for me. I'll still choose something that I'm ok with it but most of it, I'll choose something that will groom me into a better individual in terms of thinking and yup.

And.. If I can't get into local, I'll just go and work and find a job that I'm interested in because I wanna work hard and excel in it because I know a diploma cert is not enough so working hard is super important. Currently, I don't have any plans to study in private. So if I didn't get into local, most probably I wouldn't study anymore and I'm ok with it also. I can work, earn money hehe. And, I'll go and enrich myself into some courses that I'm interested in so that I can carve out another path for myself! :)

Yeah so that's what I've plan out yup...something that I'll constantly remind myself of. And not forgetting when I finally step into the working society, I'm gonna give myself 10 to 15 years to earn super a lot of money, to invest, earn and save. After that, I gonna quit and then find things that I like to do and take it as a job. Maybe to start up a small business with my love or fulfill my teaching dream. Yup, as long as I work hard, everything is fine. 

Though I am not sure if this plan will works out but I still have lots of time to discover and I'm definitely one step nearer when I plan it out, closer and closer with ever step. There's so many things to believe in but one thing that I tell myself to believe in is that, my goal in life is just to lead a simple life and to whatever place that I am placed into, I make sure to put in super lot of hard work. Everything just comes down to me. Looking forward to the future me, yeah let's do this.