Without even being aware of it, I allow these dark thoughts and negative feelings to consume me with growing frequency. Its perfectly normal to have these thoughts in my head sometimes but I guess I should never let it dominate me day and night. :( Most of the time, they came creeping in my mind when I'm alone or at night causing me not sleep but nowadays, its so bad that these thoughts begin to even intrude during the day. :( Its seems as though someone was blindfolding me, preventing me from seeing any light in myself. 

This makes me realized, even though I am surrounded by people who love me, I didn't reach out and tell them the depth of my feelings, my insecurities. Too often, I shrug off the supportive words people said and hang onto my negative thoughts instead.

Well, no one is happy and perky all the times. We all have bad days just that, my bad days last longer than ever. 

We all have a choice. When will I learn to see that? :(