As I am growing older, I realized being healthy is much more important than being skinny. Saw this quote somewhere and I really love it - " By choosing healthy over skinny, you are choosing self love over self judgement. " I was so obsessed with being skinny and losing weight in the past that it made me so unhappy and misses out a lot in life. Not to say that I am skinny now, I don't think I am at all and I've learn and grown to accept it. Its really tough for me but I'm glad I've learn to change my mindset whenever I start getting a little too insecure again. I used to exercise for the wrong reasons but now, I'm learning to exercise for the right reasons and I'm loving it! ^^ Its never too late to walk out of things that make you unhappy, you just have to take the first step and try. 

I was so obsessed with trying to lose weight that I began comparing myself with others. There are so many pretty girls out there and those days were the worst. I can't help but to continuously compare and this made me look down on myself. I was so bitter but then that I will cry myself to sleep because I was feeling so insecure. I was leading such an unhealthy life back then..

Now, I am slowly learning to walk away from these toxic thoughts that used to haunt me everyday. Everything is better now :) but I still have days where I am feeling so insecure but I've learn to not let it rent too much space in my head. I'll shake it off and things will get better again. Tbh, I am still learning to love myself. I'll wake up and tell myself everyday to become the best version of me and it really helps. I am no longer the same because I exercise for the right reason, to be healthy and I just really love the endorphin rush after exercising. This keeps me going and I feel so much happier. I'm no longer crying myself to sleep or hate everything I see in the mirror. I've started to embrace my body and love who I am! I try to wear clothes that make me comfortable and feel good. Its not just about our outer shell but who we are within. It took me very long to finally accept that we humans, are in this earth for a purpose and we need to find it and work towards it. Life is not just about grooming your outer shell, yes its important be healthy but whats most important comes from within, Our innr beauty where our confidence begins at. 

This took me so much courage to voice out what I've been going through for the past years. But I'm glad that I've finally learnt to keep my mind off negative things that completely ruin myself. My only goal for 2016 is to love myself and making efforts to be healthy, inner and outer. I'm still on my self loving journey but I'm glad I took the courage to walk out of it. Thank you to my special one for always keeping me in check and you're the only person that knew how much I went through but have never ever give up on me. Ily.