I understand that, at the end of the day love is selfish. And things have already come to this state which yea its expected but I shouldnt just sit down there and do nothing. I know nobody is to be blame for this issue but still, that sense of guilt I have within I guess no one could actually understand no matter how much they says " its not your fault. " I don't know what am I hiding but I just don't feel like telling anyone about how I feel about the whole situation.. In actual fact, I don't really know how should I feel also. Things just happen way too fast. I cannot stop blaming myself for all the things that had happened because if I didn't exist, maybe things wouldn't be so complicated and everyone can still be good. And I know if I keep on emphasizing on that, nobody will likes it so I don't really want to say much.

I kind of figured out what I really want already. Its not very clear but then I should just trust my instinct, follow my heart and not worry that much anymore because ultimately, I'll still want to be with you. I don't think you can ever feel my sincerity because I just can't express it out because I don't know how to love someone and I have never ever really love someone and this is why everything that happens confuse me. But if we take things slowly as it goes, I think I can manage it well.

Now, although it hurts but I really need to make things clear. I'm sorry for whatever that I have to said and I know karma will strikes on me, I'm ready. You might hate me, maybe not I don't know and I'm not sure if I'm prepared for it but then all these things have to be settled. And I can't just sit down there and do nothing because at the end of the day, everything starts with me.. yeah me..

But hmmm although its a bad situation right now for everyone but hmm when I thought about the things you said to me, I caught myself smiling hehe and thats made my day feel better. I'll just scroll back to the same page and re-read the texts you sent, I'll smile when I thought about the things you said to me. And it really made me very very happy deep down that you took so much courage to actually tell him that you like me and yeah I just feel like.............................. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahaha although it means nothing much or maybe I think too much but yeah let's just don't get too affected and be happy everyone!