Vicious cycle

I always tell myself to study hard but when it really comes to the day where I have to work hard for my papers, I got so lazy. I can only feel the pressure diving in before the day of my paper. And I'll start blaming myself for being so last minute and I can't even get to sleep because I need to chiong to get all the information inside. And I'll start whining again and the cycle repeats. -o-

Don't know whats wrong with me, I just feel that my studying method is wrong. I'm not studying smartly but I just feel so urghz to do something about it. Why bothered studying so much? That day I was tumblr-ing and I saw this post and I can't help to agree with it so much. It's just kind of expressing everything I wanted to say all these while.

Don't you just agree? Life is just another vicious cycle. We go to school, we try so hard and then sometimes the efforts just doesn't get paid off. Then nevermind. You still have to try your best to get into a local Uni because that's whats everyone said that its the best for you? Then again, you try very hard in Uni then after that, come out to look for a job and work your ass off after that to pay for your bills, income taxes and most importantly, just to survive. And then everyone just keep on doing the same thing and no one even stops to think WHY they're doing it? If I were to ask someone why they're doing this? I bet their answer would be " if not what to do? No need earn money meh, you don't need to live meh? "

Yes earning money is important but then living like this, don't you feel like you're not living and we only live once! It feels like.. I'm obligated to do it? Its like who cares what degrees you did, what master you get, after you die, all your money is still byebye right maybe to your kids but then at the end of the day, ask yourself, have you really live or just living for the purpose of surviving? 

I know its hard living in Singapore, everything is so expensive and everyone is so competitive. But the choice is still yours? Even if I work my ass off next time, I'm not and never gonna let myself neglect the things that I love to do. I do not want to live a life like this.