This time, I really tried to open up to you and mummy but you guys didn't see it. I see no point in trying to defend myself when you said those words to me. Its so hurtful but nvm bah let it be. Yeah, I see no point trying anymore and I'm just gonna go back to the old me since you just don't see my efforts. I'm just gonna shut myself down and cope myself in the room since whatever I do just doesn't seems enough.

What is family? I used to think, family > friends but I think otherwise now. 

I feel uncomfortable, I don't feel like I'm being myself. I hate myself when I'm with them but I can't help it. I know they're trying to let me open up myself and yeah I am slowly opening up myself to them but guess I'm not gonna do it anymore since no one feels my efforts.

Nope not blaming them, the problem lies with me and will always be me. Just sucks to me I guess.

Wish I could change this part of me easily. Nobody is perfect, take it or leave it.