Time to be honest with myself and not avoiding. I have been neglecting my studies more than ever. I never felt so unmotivated before in my 16 years of study before. This is the first time I neglected so much of my studies. I leave my weekly work undone and just slack my way through. I totally find no motivation in pushing myself to sit down and get my work done. I used to love studying but I hate it so much now. Studying has never been this hard and torturous. I dread every single day to school and I hate myself for being so lazy yet I feel so disappointed in myself for behaving this way. I'm on the verge of giving up. GToo much things are occupying my mind that I just lose my focus on the right things. I let the bad things get to me, constantly bringing myself down, let it get to me, hate myself, lose focus and in the end, regretted for being like this. Really hate how I am so preoccupied with my own thoughts that I forgotten about the things that actually matters most. Tomorrow is gonna be another brand new day, no more letting myself find excuses to not study anymore. 

And more but it's okay.