Thinker

Hahaha I think I am weird. My head is filled with plenty of random thoughts and thousands of unanswered questions. I have the weirdest thoughts in my mind and sometimes I think I am really crazy lol. Need to snap out of it I know rightz.

The past few days has been such a crazy emotional roller coaster. Countless unhappy things. Wait, there's only one but it seems like a big thing. A big snowball that is weighing me down sho sad :( I had so much hopes for this year but its been really disappointing. Its almost halfway through 2015 and I feel like shitz. The past few months really flew by in a blink of an eye and looking back, I felt like I didn't achieve anything. For a high achiever like me, this little sense of satisfaction is too disappointing. 

Its like I can never be happy for a long period. My happiness lasts for a few minutes maybe and soon something comes along and boom, there goes my happiness. Why why why. Is it my whole life gonna be like this? One moment I'm laughing till my stomach hurts and the next moment this wave of sadness comes crashing and overwhelm me that I can't breathe. The oxygen that I breathe out or is it carbon dioxide? Sorry I forgotten if humans breathe out oxygen or carbon dioxide already >.< gosh seriously ok nvm. Its like there's sadness in my oxygen which is so sad. If they say shit happens in life then is the shit literally my oxygen? >.< Everything I've liked, is slowly becoming everything I've lost. So sick of all these you know :(

Days like these, I wish I could sleep it all away but its not helping when I have thousands of unanswered questions popping in my mind. How I wish, life has a fast forward button so that we can fast forward our unhappiness, look into our future and know whats worth, whats not. But, isn't it amazing when you don't know whats life throws you? Hahaha owell I'm contradicting myself again guiseeee.

What is this I am feeling? I don't know what am I gonna bump into or when this road is going to come to an end. Will I fall into a bottomless pit and never be able to get out?

I look at people, I look at myself and I start pondering. Everything is at such a fast accelerating pace. We're living in a society that we think we must catch up to not be left behind. People rush everywhere, maybe sometimes just too used to walking fast. Even when we may not even have a destination to go in mind, we still tend to rush. No aims in mind but we unconsciously keep moving, keep walking cause thats what we do, thats what we're taught to do, thats what we're supposed to do and most importantly, thats what everyone does.

Because of this, we tend to miss out on life's little details? Yeah? Small details that may not been much at this point of your life but yet if we had slowed down and look around, perhaps we would learn to appreciate things more, enjoy things more, reflect more. We could have slowed down and notice our surroundings. Be more sensitive and observe more. Maybe then, we would take note of these seemingly insignificant details which may mean a lot or teach us a lot. These are lessons that are invaluable and can't be taught in school.

Yet here we are, neglecting our environment and missing out life's greatest stuffs. We've all forgotten to slow down and enjoy the process of life.  

Time to slow down. 

For the rest of 2015, I won't ask you to be good to me cause the lesser the hopes, the lesser the disappointment. Just don't be too mean. 

Wooz, I typed a lot........... >.< gosh